Bassabrow is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, proud pig.

Bassabrow created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassabrow, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bassabrow, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bassabrow's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bassabrow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peanuts.

2. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

3. Hide from yellow whales for they are unholy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Retreat if eight squirrels approach from the east.