Jatstraglarg is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, able armadillo.

Jatstraglarg created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatstraglarg, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jatstraglarg, it will jump up and down on your head.

Jatstraglarg's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Jatstraglarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Hide from magenta gulls for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear brown clothing.

4. You must pray to Jatstraglarg five times a day.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Jatstraglarg on top of all buildings.