Larnhamneg Hastinfit is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, bad-tempered mink.

Larnhamneg Hastinfit created the solar system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnhamneg Hastinfit, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Larnhamneg Hastinfit, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Larnhamneg Hastinfit's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Larnhamneg Hastinfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.