Fumzansog is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, emotional naga.

Fumzansog created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumzansog, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fumzansog, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fumzansog's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Fumzansog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think ill of sick dolphins.