Tinquamgab is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, self-assured centaur.

Tinquamgab created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinquamgab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tinquamgab, she will turn you into a rat.

Tinquamgab's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tinquamgab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six tortoises approach from the east.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Hide from indigo gulls for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not hurt pigs.