Botladlen is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring snail.

Botladlen created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Botladlen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Botladlen, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Botladlen's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Botladlen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never talk about spacetime.

3. Run away if seven voles approach from the south.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.