Fidnurtsog is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, tiresome salamander.

Fidnurtsog created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidnurtsog, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fidnurtsog, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fidnurtsog's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Fidnurtsog's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

5. Put Fidnurtsog first in all things.