Wapveenveg is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, fast fly.

Wapveenveg created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapveenveg, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Wapveenveg, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wapveenveg's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Wapveenveg's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Do not stand on grass.