Quagpomcet is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, proud faun.

Quagpomcet created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Quagpomcet, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quagpomcet, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Quagpomcet's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Quagpomcet's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Quagpomcet.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling space in green.

4. Run away from purple gulls, for they are unholy.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.