Omttinyimgum is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, weak scorpion.

Omttinyimgum created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Omttinyimgum, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Omttinyimgum, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Omttinyimgum's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Omttinyimgum's Holy Commandments

1. Put Omttinyimgum first in all things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Omttinyimgum must be the most important thing in your life.