Funpangnabnan is a god.
He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish
goblin.
Funpangnabnan created the cosmos seven billion years ago.
If you believe in
Funpangnabnan, he will grant your every desire.
If you do not believe in
Funpangnabnan, he will turn you into a tree.
Funpangnabnan's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.
Funpangnabnan's Holy Commandments1. Never think about eukaryotes.
2. Always obey Funpangnabnan's priests.
3. Never feed lots of strawberries to tapirs while wearing black dresses.
4. Do not shave your legs.
5. You must love Funpangnabnan.