Fobbonkmum is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, moody dryad.

Fobbonkmum created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobbonkmum, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fobbonkmum, he will turn you into a mole.

Fobbonkmum's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Fobbonkmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt gulls.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling space.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

4. You must love Fobbonkmum.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.