Panhenquag is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, tranquil swan.

Panhenquag created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Panhenquag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Panhenquag, he will jump up and down on your head.

Panhenquag's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Panhenquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves.

2. Worship no other gods but Panhenquag.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never look at stars.