Hadtonwegarmvoltarp is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, resourceful squid.

Hadtonwegarmvoltarp created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadtonwegarmvoltarp, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hadtonwegarmvoltarp, she will turn you into a dog.

Hadtonwegarmvoltarp's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hadtonwegarmvoltarp's Holy Commandments

1. Hadtonwegarmvoltarp loves ducks, so they must be respected.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Hide if nine eagles approach from the south.

4. Never feed lots of corn to gulls while wearing yellow coats.

5. Retreat if eight swans approach from the east.