Wantailwab is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, moody octopus.

Wantailwab created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wantailwab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wantailwab, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Wantailwab's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Wantailwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into cyan rooms.

2. Do not keep five rats in a large pit.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Do not shave your hands.