Tigdanstipbafgud Bedgunjop is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, witless hyena.

Tigdanstipbafgud Bedgunjop created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigdanstipbafgud Bedgunjop, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tigdanstipbafgud Bedgunjop, she will try to impress you with trees.

Tigdanstipbafgud Bedgunjop's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tigdanstipbafgud Bedgunjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat whales with great respect.

2. Do not take Tigdanstipbafgud Bedgunjop's name in vain.

3. Do not eat rice.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Tigdanstipbafgud Bedgunjop on top of all buildings.