Gedarffom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, prudent newt.

Gedarffom created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gedarffom, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gedarffom, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gedarffom's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Gedarffom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three seals in a large pit.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Do not speak about strawberries.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never write about archaea.