Basstangod is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, proud toad.

Basstangod created the planet Venus nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Basstangod, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Basstangod, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Basstangod's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Basstangod's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Basstangod.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not shave your face.