Gupbastgam is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited monkey.

Gupbastgam created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupbastgam, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gupbastgam, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gupbastgam's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gupbastgam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown tapirs for they are unholy.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never feed tomatoes to snakes while wearing purple tights.

5. Always help sick birds.