Sawcadsin is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, bad-tempered cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Sawcadsin created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawcadsin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Sawcadsin, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Sawcadsin's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Sawcadsin's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Never think about dark energy near monkeys while wearing fawn shirts and balancing six gold spheres on your face.

3. Never run in the presence of voles.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Sawcadsin in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.