Saggubxen Cudlidtimjam Sadyamvegtamxucfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, conceited aardvark.

Saggubxen Cudlidtimjam Sadyamvegtamxucfeb created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saggubxen Cudlidtimjam Sadyamvegtamxucfeb, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Saggubxen Cudlidtimjam Sadyamvegtamxucfeb, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Saggubxen Cudlidtimjam Sadyamvegtamxucfeb's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Saggubxen Cudlidtimjam Sadyamvegtamxucfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Saggubxen Cudlidtimjam Sadyamvegtamxucfeb.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near hamsters while wearing gray tights.

4. Run away if eight sharks approach from the west.

5. Saggubxen Cudlidtimjam Sadyamvegtamxucfeb loves rats, so they must be honoured.