Vadfitcet is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, all-knowing mole.

Vadfitcet created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadfitcet, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vadfitcet, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vadfitcet's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Vadfitcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Do not kill swans.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always take life seriously.