Gutxenben is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unfair gorilla.

Gutxenben created Mount Everest eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gutxenben, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gutxenben, she will turn you into a mole.

Gutxenben's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Gutxenben's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven foxes approach from the west.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near nematodes while wearing purple corsets and balancing six gold spheres on your hands.

4. Do not take Gutxenben's name in vain.

5. Run away from green swans, for they are unholy.