Saktam Likvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty crocodile.

Saktam Likvonk created an electron six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Saktam Likvonk, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Saktam Likvonk, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Saktam Likvonk's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Saktam Likvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine eagles approach from the west.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Feed all hungry hamsters.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about fire.