Saskemcab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, amazing hamster.

Saskemcab created the Sunflower Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Saskemcab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Saskemcab, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Saskemcab's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Saskemcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near great tits while wearing pink tights and balancing five carbon spheres on your neck.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never feed coconuts to pigs while wearing red ear rings.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Saskemcab loves mites, so they must be honoured.