Gupcamtonk is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tiresome armadillo.

Gupcamtonk created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupcamtonk, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gupcamtonk, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gupcamtonk's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gupcamtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Feed all hungry turtles.

4. Always help swans in need.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.