Ratjadgan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, awesome hydra.

Ratjadgan created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratjadgan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ratjadgan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ratjadgan's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Ratjadgan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Ratjadgan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about dark energy near whales while wearing black shorts.