Danlapstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, calm goat.

Danlapstaf created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Danlapstaf, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Danlapstaf, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Danlapstaf's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Danlapstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Feed all hungry pigs.

4. Never feed nuts to great tits while wearing stockings.

5. You must pray to Danlapstaf seven times a day.