Pomkikgabbep is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, smart hedgehog.

Pomkikgabbep created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pomkikgabbep, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pomkikgabbep, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Pomkikgabbep's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Pomkikgabbep's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pomkikgabbep.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Put Pomkikgabbep first in all things.

4. Always look after injured birds.

5. Do not hurt shrews.