Larptarmab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unselfish mouse.

Larptarmab created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larptarmab, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Larptarmab, he will try to impress you with trees.

Larptarmab's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Larptarmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

5. Always take life seriously.