Pigrowmat is a god.

It takes the form of a small, dishonest walrus.

Pigrowmat created matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigrowmat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pigrowmat, it will turn you into a duck.

Pigrowmat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Pigrowmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention grasshopers.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always look after injured bats.

4. Never feed parsnips to whales while wearing indigo ear rings.

5. Never feed lots of lemons to snails while wearing gray kilts.