Cetsigbelljen is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, caring centipede.

Cetsigbelljen created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetsigbelljen, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cetsigbelljen, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cetsigbelljen's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Cetsigbelljen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never feed lots of garlic to mice while wearing green boots.

4. Always look after injured hamsters.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.