Konomingumyim is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, wise jackal.

Konomingumyim created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Konomingumyim, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Konomingumyim, he will not care.

Konomingumyim's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Konomingumyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Never play with disobedient children.