Hakhomwip is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever lobster.

Hakhomwip created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakhomwip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hakhomwip, it will manifest in front of you.

Hakhomwip's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hakhomwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling space.