Tonkarfbosscangubhapraw is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, dishonourable bat.

Tonkarfbosscangubhapraw created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkarfbosscangubhapraw, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tonkarfbosscangubhapraw, it will destroy your favourite star.

Tonkarfbosscangubhapraw's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tonkarfbosscangubhapraw's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white otters, for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tonkarfbosscangubhapraw.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.