Lipkad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, selfish hamster.

Lipkad created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipkad, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lipkad, it will send minions to preach to you.

Lipkad's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Lipkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near dogs while wearing red dresses and balancing seven tin spheres on your arms.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Lipkad.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always wear magenta.