Rowlopfed is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, emotional frog.

Rowlopfed created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowlopfed, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rowlopfed, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Rowlopfed's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Rowlopfed's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Rowlopfed in the centre of the settlement.

2. Run away from yellow swans, for they are unholy.

3. Never mention ducks.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.