Ragkanjig Far Jadquagnak is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, smart hedgehog.

Ragkanjig Far Jadquagnak created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ragkanjig Far Jadquagnak, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ragkanjig Far Jadquagnak, he will laugh at you.

Ragkanjig Far Jadquagnak's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Ragkanjig Far Jadquagnak's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near ducks while wearing mauve hats and balancing eight tin spheres on your back.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.