Ortgabyarp is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless centaur.

Ortgabyarp created the Black Eye Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortgabyarp, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ortgabyarp, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Ortgabyarp's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Ortgabyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Do not take Ortgabyarp's name in vain.