Batjanbop is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, confident lizard.

Batjanbop created the Sol system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Batjanbop, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Batjanbop, he will turn you into a plant.

Batjanbop's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Batjanbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never think ill of sick geese.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.