Yamdissrap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, prudent finch.

Yamdissrap created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Yamdissrap, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yamdissrap, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Yamdissrap's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yamdissrap's Holy Commandments

1. Yamdissrap loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yamdissrap.

3. Never paint your back black.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.