Yimkomfit Quamvoglist is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, proud dog.

Yimkomfit Quamvoglist created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimkomfit Quamvoglist, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yimkomfit Quamvoglist, he will turn you into a tree.

Yimkomfit Quamvoglist's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yimkomfit Quamvoglist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Yimkomfit Quamvoglist in the centre of the settlement.