Yarpparkhab is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, stupid raccoon.

Yarpparkhab created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yarpparkhab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yarpparkhab, it will throw large rocks at you.

Yarpparkhab's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Yarpparkhab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Always look after injured sheep.

4. Worship no other gods but Yarpparkhab.

5. Never eat bark.