Bepkinshav Cem is a god.

She takes the form of a small, ill-tempered fairy.

Bepkinshav Cem created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Bepkinshav Cem, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bepkinshav Cem, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bepkinshav Cem's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bepkinshav Cem's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bepkinshav Cem seven times a day.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling space.

3. Never feed lentils to gulls while wearing blue scarves.

4. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

5. Fast once a month.