Tincuncut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic hedgehog.

Tincuncut created a down quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tincuncut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tincuncut, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tincuncut's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Tincuncut's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tincuncut six times a day.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Hide if eight tortoises approach from the west.

5. Always look after injured otters.