Dobveenjipshav is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, two-faced swan.

Dobveenjipshav created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobveenjipshav, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dobveenjipshav, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dobveenjipshav's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Dobveenjipshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Dobveenjipshav's name in vain.

2. Never think about enzymes.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. You must pray to Dobveenjipshav three times a day.

5. Never talk about fire.