Hasmiptim Nakwodpag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, temperamental sheep.

Hasmiptim Nakwodpag created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasmiptim Nakwodpag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hasmiptim Nakwodpag, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hasmiptim Nakwodpag's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Hasmiptim Nakwodpag's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry cats.

2. Never feed corn to nematodes while wearing dresses.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.