Bestcumhun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, witless alligator.

Bestcumhun created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestcumhun, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bestcumhun, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bestcumhun's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Bestcumhun's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. You must love Bestcumhun.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling space.

5. Bestcumhun loves mites, so they must be honoured.