Sidragtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, fast pig.

Sidragtonk created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sidragtonk, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sidragtonk, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sidragtonk's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Sidragtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling space in green.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sidragtonk.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always pray immersed in water.