Ingsabfaslakzagxucjen is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fussy sheep.

Ingsabfaslakzagxucjen created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ingsabfaslakzagxucjen, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ingsabfaslakzagxucjen, he will not care.

Ingsabfaslakzagxucjen's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Ingsabfaslakzagxucjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt gulls.

2. Hide from cyan sharks for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about eagles.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Ingsabfaslakzagxucjen in the centre of the settlement.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.